The invasion is going well. The beachhead has been secured and ground forces deployed. We have sustained very few casualties, but we did loose at least 8 pounds. We will keep up this offensive for one more week, then slow down our attacks, but we will not quit until we get to our objective. The enemy has carried out ruthless attacks of bagels, donuts, kolaches, muffins, pizza, rolls, bread, and even fruit. But, we have held our ground and have not given up, even though the battle is making us weary. While the diet is going well, I just can’t get this out of my head….
YOU CALL THAT A DIET SOLDIER! I USED TO LOOSE 50 POUNDS IN A WEEK, NOT A WORTHLESS 8! NOW KEEP MOVING AND AVOID THAT POTATO, MISTER! KEEP AWAY FROM THAT BANANA! I’LL CHEW YOU UP AND SPIT YOU OUT IF YOU EVEN TOUCH THAT HOT DOG!
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