A recent issue of Stillpoint was delivered to our house recently. (This is the alumni magazine for Gordon College, fyi). I had updated my information with the college several months ago, but hadn’t seen an update in the alumni news yet. I scanned the section on the ’90’s and once again found that my information was not there.
My mom, being more astute than I however, noticed that I was listed. She was so impressed that she tore the whole page from the magazine and showed it to me on Saturday. This is what it said:
“Debbi (Edwards) Speer, ’86, continues to teach piano through her home based studio and is also part-time director of children’s ministries at their church, Prairie Creek Baptist in Plano, TX. Her husband, Bruce, is an architect. They reside with their daughter in Fairview, TX.”
Ummm…lemme esplain. No. There is too much. Lemme sum up:
1) I did not graduate in 1986. Well, I did graduate that year, but not from college. FROM HIGH SCHOOL. As smart as I may be, I did not complete 4 years of college in 4 months.  Please don’t make me 40 yet.
2) My husband, Bruce?? Thanks, guys, you got me in a LOT of trouble. I had a lot of ‘splainin’ to do. I don’t think I even know anyone named Bruce, much less married him.
3) We reside with our daughter? What about OUR SON, whose birth announcement was printed in the same magazine 7 years ago? Interestingly enough, you never published the birth announcement for this daughter with whom we reside.
Oy. Methinks the editor will be hearing from me soon. Or my lawyer. The psychological stress of suddenly aging me, renaming my husband, and ignoring my son is worth something, don’t ya think?